Cruise back to the 70’s in a Fireball PHATBOY…

OK, time for a time-travel episode folks. Let’s press the proverbial button and swing back to the 70’s for a jiff where everything was cool in a sort of very uncool sort of way — bell bottoms, super ugly haircuts and wacko cars.

Wait, I take that back about the cars. Not the haircuts. And although the cars were strange, there was nothing stranger than the AMC Pacer. It was ugly on a whole new level that made it the coolest car ever. 

So, today’s Ride is dedicated to all those — this means you — who suffered and survived the 70’s and managed to come out and into the 21st century unscathed. 

And if we happened to still have a Pacer in our garage, what would we do with it? Well, there’s the obvious things like a fish tank, cherry tomato garden and recliner-lounge with foot massager, but I’m pretty sure most of you have done that already.

Which is why I want to challenge your brains in coming up with the Best Pacer Idea Ever contest. 

My idea? Well, it’s the PhatBoy of course. Chubba Hubba, this flame throwin’ concept, features a variety of cool options. The tail pipe doubles as a zucchini slicer and the dish wheels come off for pizza delivery; four at a time, baby! 

Yea, I know what you’re thinking. This is weird. How can you be delivering pizzas and be this cool? What? That wasn’t what you were thinking? Moving on.

I like to play around with ideas and fish out of water concepts. Like, if you mixed “Jurassic Park” and “Breaking Bad” you’d get dinosaurs doing drugs, or something like that. Whatever.

But the point is, if you really had a Pacer, what would you do? Back on target, Fireball!

Oh, and by the way, PhatBoy actually has a definition. It’s “behaving badly while still being cool.” I’m not really sure that makes any sense at all, but Webster was a smart guy and I for one believe him, even though he’s dead now and really doesn’t care.

So get your phat on and drive your cool car like the stud or studette that you are. Be the phat.

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