A week in the stunning 2020 JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE LIMITED X 4X4…

MO POWAAA!!!!

Right outta the gate, and much like all Jeeps, the 2020 GRAND CHEROKEE is awesome. It’s brute force, THICK on all sides, super comfy and luxurious with a strong confident design language.

And it’s got lottsa power…. BUT here the thing. It’s kinda not fair that they make a TrackHawk version with a Hellcat motor. I mean, who wants this one when they can have THAT ONE? Seriously.

It’s like… let’s go get an ice cream and get ONE SCOOP. Who does that? Remember Thrifty with the cylinder-shaped ice cream scoops? They were tiny, so we always opted for more. At least 3. NOBODY… EVER… GOT ONE SCOOP.

And this is what Jeep does, dammit. This Cherokee is a One-scooper. It’s awesome. Delicious. Goes down smooth and silky, but IT’S ONE SCOOP AND I WANT MORE!

I guess that’s a good thing. To know that there IS more is what Jeep is all about, right? Design-wise, the Cherokee hasn’t changed all that much in the past few years. It’s like Ford building the Fairmont or Buick the Grand National. Both are fairly nonchalant cars, but hey, “Lets put a BEAST of a Motor in one and she’ll sell like gangbusters!”

Sure, it works. And three scoops is cool. 4 is too much as it topples over when you are riding your bike on the sidewalk. Like… 1500 hp in a Jeep. Silly. But 707hp in a Cherokee? Daaaaaaamn.

Like… like… It’s like finding that last WACKY STICKER to make your set complete. The Star Wars Action Figure you’ve been missing and just found at a swap meet… for $.50! It’s like THREE SCOOPS!

Oh, before I forget, let’s get the tech stuff outta the way. 21mpg (ouch), $52K (ouchy2) and 293hp. SEE WHAT I MEAN? 293hp? That’s full-on 1 scoop, ppl!

Ok, there is a case from Mom’s picking up grungy dirty kids and Dad’s going to a meeting (unless he’s seeing his mistress, a Hellcat Dodge)… and the occasional off-road adventure to Grandma’s house in the Woods (creepyFriday13thface), but come on… IT’S A JEEP. And despite Jeep’s Marketing Campaign on ALL their cars, we ALL know that Jeeps are built for trails and off-road excursions. WE AIN’T STOOPID.

Driving a Jeep on the freeway (and streets) only… is like buying a pair of running shoes, but all you do is stand around at the office eating your donut. Buying a Hot Wheels and sticking it immediately into your collection… in the closet. Oh, oh… how about this one? Buy a fancy Hellcat Coffee Maker… then go MAKE TEA!!! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD PEOPLE!!! TAKE YOUR JEEP WHERE IT SUPPOSED TO GO!!!

Ok, I’m done now. I like the 2020 Grand Cherokee Limited a lot. Buy one, or don’t. But know that if you do… and you solely drive it on the freeway… I will be watching… And I have a certain set of skills…. I will find you. And I WILL give you my Hairy Eyeball, PERSONALLY.

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