A curious week in the 2020 TOYOTA COROLLA XSE reveals why this car NEEDS to exist…

Very few cars on the planet NEED to exist. I mean, not everyone wants a Panoz, Ferrari, BMW MSeries of Vette. But the Carolla… without it, the world just might ex-implode. And here’s why…

Ok, what they heck is Fireball talking about THIS TIME? Well, I’m glad you asked my fine feliners… ’cause I’ma gonna tell ya…

A week on the 2020 TOYOTA COROLLA XSE has taught me one thing for sure and that is that for those that really have difficulty buying a car, or even choosing one, the Corolla makes it easy.

It’s a car that pretty much appeals to all 8 (or is it 9?) billion inhabitots that dwell on the surface of this tiny marble. Getting around it requires that we have a car for most of us, and buying a car ain’t an easy thing… for some.

With all those choices, couldn’t someone just build a car that appeals to ALL of us… is simple to drive and understand, and doesn’t cost a fortune? Can’t someone make it look pretty nice, but not too nice? Racy, but not obnoxious? Help me carry all my peeps and stuff, but easy to clean because my dog had an “accident?”

Well, again I’m glad you asked because THIS is the 2020 Corolla… at its core. Not an easy thing to achieve for a car company. Imagine, creating a car that pretty much NO ONE hates? Now, that doesn’t mean they LOVE it, but they definitely DON’T HATE IT.

Let’s delve… starting with price. $19K to $28K. The XSE is $25K. Ridiculous as you could plop down $500 and get an easy payment probably. 139hp? Sho nuff. Just enough to pull a Grand Poobah, but not enough to get in trouble with the Fuzz. 29/37mpg is gooood for a non-EV, but ah yes, they have an EV too. Take that, Planet Earth!

Whatever color you choose, when you go to show your friends, they’ll say “Cool, let’s get Ice Cream.” Then they’ll pile in a never give it another thought… and that’s not a bad thing.

The interior… like pretty much EVERY other car, comes in a black version. It’s today’s thing. Black is the new Black and Toyota’s with it. Sure, it would be nice to see a green interior with white piping, but it’s not gonna happen, so shut yer trap and slam down that Plant Based Cashew Ice Cream.

So, what does this leave you with? Well, again I’m shocked that you are consistent with your amazing questions! It leaves you with a car that does EXACTLY what a car is designed to do. Get you from here to there in comfort, style and enough cash left over to chug the rest of your Sasparilla. How cool is that?

1-5 on the Fireball Scale? 5. That is… unless you’re like me and you want to Bitch Slap those Canyon roads into submission with a Boosted Barnstormer of a Vehicular Contraption? In that case, I know someone you can call to turn your Corolla into a CRUSHEROLLA. Lmk.

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