Among many things, I’m a tour guide. And that’s cool ’cause I get to go neat places and appreciate the beauty this country has to offer. In this case, San Francisco.

Been up here since Monday and we’ve seen all kindsa great stuff. But I try and do things I’ve never done before instead of just go to Ghiradelli… again. (I will be going there today, though. I mean, it IS chocolate… and chocolate is me.)

But yesterday and today, my Danish buddy Morten and I ran across the Golden Gate Bridge. And that was fun, although he’s really fast! Not something everyone gets to or wants to do, but truly an experience. Then, off to Haight Ashbury where we cornered a classic VETTE.

Like LA, great cars in this town. My wife’s sister Susie and her boys (Jacob, Oliver and Erik) are checkin’ out the sites left and right. Erik had a HUGE Ben and Jerry’s Sundae on Haight Ashbury.

Today it’s Alcatraz. Hope nobody gets stuck out there… But there’s one thing I know. It won’t be me.

Normally, I can see fireworks up the coast starting at Billionaires Beach (Where Geffen and Saban have their houses) all the way up to Paradise Cove in Malibu. But this year was different…

This year, thanks to a huge party down at Paris Hilton’s house in front of me, she splurged her entire HOURLY savings on EXPLOSION POWDER!! (Stallone’s house is with the green garage door) Right in front of my digs went off the best fireworks I’ve seen in years. For almost 45 minutes. All my neighbors hooted and howd as the light show emerged. And after the BIG BANG at the end, more continued in an ever slowly decreasing amount, smoothly blending away. It was great. And although photos will never do it justice, the memory of it will last.

Oh… and she had a Zebra on the beach for the kiddies. You kooky Paris, you. (Head noogie…)

The surest way to have a big dog… is to plant your little one.

It’s the Holiday weekend and strange things are already happening. BUG decided that an Orchid Pot was a good place to observe from, so he planted himself. I suppose it’s not a bad idea…

Freedom. To do, to be, to think. So, for this Holiday weekend, think well. Be grateful for all those who came before us who sacrificed so we don’t have to. Eat a Hot Dog, smile a lot, have some chocolate, be with friends. Be patient and don’t drive stupid. There’s plenty of time to do everything and more.

We’re free.

Ok, not REAL ghosts, but like… kinda ghost-like. Only, nothing like that either…

Just got back from some r&r in Big Bear. Up in the San Bernadino Mountains. It was quiet. Seriously quiet. And although it was quiet, there were cool cars to be found. Some weird ones, too. But… where were the people, yo?

Normally, Big Bear is sportin’ serious population at the local coffee hang outs. But this week? I got Joes 2 Go in 20 seconds flat! We perused the town, I did a run at 5:30am (That was creepy quiet.. and thank God, cause I had serious bed-head!), and we went swimmin’ dog paddlin’-style. It was cool, only hot. 78 degrees at 7000 feet is hot.

Everyone needs r&r. So, find a place and get to it. Be with nature and stop to smell the flowers. Plenty of time to get back to the grind. And bring yer pooches…

Well, …I thought it might be a bit busier on Father’s Day at RIDEMAKERZ in Downtown Disney… BUT IT WAS TOTALLY OUTTA CONTROL!!!

The line to buy cars carved right outta the store and Chip’s and my signing line went way outta site. It was like a queue line in the park with a 90 minute wait! Wow, it was nuts, but one of the best things for me besides all the great kiddies was… I got to hang out with UNCLE JOE BENSON from KLOS. You know Uncle Joe? You probably listen to him every morning and have for 30 years!! He’s one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet.

Wups. Sorry, Joe. My bad. I just revealed that you’ve been talking up a storm on the radio… FOREVER!!! But he’s a huge car guy, so what do you expect? Passion!

In the 5 hours that we signed, I never saw the same kind of car twice. They were all as different as the kidz! But we signed, arms, shoes, shirts and camera flashes too! It was wild! We even brought in our Tattoo Artist, Bryn, for some cool RZ Tatts!

Thanks to all of you who came down and made MY experience something I’ll never forget for Father’s Day. Truly appreciated…

Photos: John Faulkner

June 1st. The first day of fun! And it’s a Tuesday, no less…

So, here’s your assignment. Whatever you do, every day, for the next three months is a choice. Well, how you do what you do is actually the choice. So, choose wisely. Choose to think “fun.” How can every moment be a blast?

No, no, don’t gimmee that “How can work be fun?” crap. Get creative… You can do it.

And don’t forget about coming to the Huntington Beach Concours to see me this weekend!!

There’s only two things you need to do today. Ready?

…Be safe and have fun.

Now, you can interpret that however you want, but whatever you do, enjoy the day. “Swim, swerve and shag!” Memorial Day 2010 only happens once for cryin’ out loud!!

Gonna have me a cinnamon right roll now, if you don’t mind…

Whew! Pretty sure I ate enough to last me through 2010. Here’s a recap of festivities. Party… then another Party, only to go to a Party within a Party. Oh, and let’s not forget the PAAATTEEEE. Then,… well, take a look.

Adios 2009! Welcome 2010! We don’t have flying cars. We don’t teleport our asses around the globe. And we don’t eat square Star Trek food. BUT, we do have G3 phones. We DO have bluetooth contraptions hangin’ on our noggens and WE DO…

…have bitchin’ rides. Bring it, Fireball.

1. SANTA’S LAND ROVER SLEIGH

Just frikkin’ cool. I mean, yea, the reindeer will be really pissed, but so what. Take the year off boys. Ima deliverin’ on my own. And I’m gonna buzz the pyramids at MACH 3. …Ho., yo.

…Funny. “Land Rover.” And… it’s a sleigh. That flies. I’m just sayin.’

2. THE AUDI AVATAR

No, not designed by James Cameron. Although, he coulda had it in the movie. Audi is poised to create future car badness with this and the ETRON. Although, I think they’re going to too many movies. Their next car is their wind-powered SUV called the RAMBLOW.

3. E-CRUSTACEAN

Certainly my choice in hybrid rides. Part BUG, part CRUSTACEAN. Butter powered and some serious pedestrian killers. Lemon slice anyone?

4. CAMARO ENFORCER

Want it. Gonna have it. Gonna use it. “You’re the disease, and I’m the cure.” “I am da LAW.” “Feelin’ lucky, punk?” All good lines, but this cars says… “Take your best shot and see what happens.”

5. THE ALFA SPIDER

This ride belongs to my buddy, Tony Michalski. He wanted to convey why cars are like women. Specifically, Italian women. And this dynamo is all Italian. So, I pose the question to ya’ll. “How are cars like women?” Ok, I’ll start….

On second thought, …my wife’s gonna read this. Peace out.

6. THE HONDA HELIX

What the heck? If someone can design this… then I should be driving it. Or… flying it. Maybe it’s a sub? No, wait. I KNOW! It’s an MRI Machine! …With wheels, duh.

7. THE MINI BEACHCOMBER

MINI. Only bigger than a MINI. And no doors. Well, there IS doors, but they come off. And you can store them in your other MINI. Oh, and there’s 9 billion options for this ride. Including Snow Boards that replace the tires. And it has 16 cup holders for slushies. Only,… 4 seats. But you can store the extra cup holders in your Clubman… which will go in the other MINI. Wait… now I’m lost.

8. THE SAHS MERCEDES BENZ

John Sahs designed the CUBE. And he’s my buddy in Tokyo. So, that’s cool. And this MB is cool. And it’s his. So, that makes John my new best friend. HEY JOHN! DESIGN ME AN OCTAGONAL MERCEDES! Or maybe a HEX HONDA. Or would you believe a TRIANGULAR TESLA. NO WAIT! A SQUARE SAAB!

Ok, I’ll handle that one…

9. THE FIREBALL SAABSLAM

GM is buggin’ out and dropping SAAB. You don’t do that to Swedish Babes. (Guess the Chinese doods didn’t want that along with getting a Hummer?) Anyway, references aside,  slam a Saab and cruise it accordingly and what do you get? Big pimpin.’

10. MILK CHOCOLATE CARERRA

Options. Cocoa holders. Park, Reverse and Lick. Exhaust serves marshmallows.

Merry Christmas, people. LOVE TO THE WORLD!