Adios 2009! Welcome 2010! We don’t have flying cars. We don’t teleport our asses around the globe. And we don’t eat square Star Trek food. BUT, we do have G3 phones. We DO have bluetooth contraptions hangin’ on our noggens and WE DO…

…have bitchin’ rides. Bring it, Fireball.

1. SANTA’S LAND ROVER SLEIGH

Just frikkin’ cool. I mean, yea, the reindeer will be really pissed, but so what. Take the year off boys. Ima deliverin’ on my own. And I’m gonna buzz the pyramids at MACH 3. …Ho., yo.

…Funny. “Land Rover.” And… it’s a sleigh. That flies. I’m just sayin.’

2. THE AUDI AVATAR

No, not designed by James Cameron. Although, he coulda had it in the movie. Audi is poised to create future car badness with this and the ETRON. Although, I think they’re going to too many movies. Their next car is their wind-powered SUV called the RAMBLOW.

3. E-CRUSTACEAN

Certainly my choice in hybrid rides. Part BUG, part CRUSTACEAN. Butter powered and some serious pedestrian killers. Lemon slice anyone?

4. CAMARO ENFORCER

Want it. Gonna have it. Gonna use it. “You’re the disease, and I’m the cure.” “I am da LAW.” “Feelin’ lucky, punk?” All good lines, but this cars says… “Take your best shot and see what happens.”

5. THE ALFA SPIDER

This ride belongs to my buddy, Tony Michalski. He wanted to convey why cars are like women. Specifically, Italian women. And this dynamo is all Italian. So, I pose the question to ya’ll. “How are cars like women?” Ok, I’ll start….

On second thought, …my wife’s gonna read this. Peace out.

6. THE HONDA HELIX

What the heck? If someone can design this… then I should be driving it. Or… flying it. Maybe it’s a sub? No, wait. I KNOW! It’s an MRI Machine! …With wheels, duh.

7. THE MINI BEACHCOMBER

MINI. Only bigger than a MINI. And no doors. Well, there IS doors, but they come off. And you can store them in your other MINI. Oh, and there’s 9 billion options for this ride. Including Snow Boards that replace the tires. And it has 16 cup holders for slushies. Only,… 4 seats. But you can store the extra cup holders in your Clubman… which will go in the other MINI. Wait… now I’m lost.

8. THE SAHS MERCEDES BENZ

John Sahs designed the CUBE. And he’s my buddy in Tokyo. So, that’s cool. And this MB is cool. And it’s his. So, that makes John my new best friend. HEY JOHN! DESIGN ME AN OCTAGONAL MERCEDES! Or maybe a HEX HONDA. Or would you believe a TRIANGULAR TESLA. NO WAIT! A SQUARE SAAB!

Ok, I’ll handle that one…

9. THE FIREBALL SAABSLAM

GM is buggin’ out and dropping SAAB. You don’t do that to Swedish Babes. (Guess the Chinese doods didn’t want that along with getting a Hummer?) Anyway, references aside,  slam a Saab and cruise it accordingly and what do you get? Big pimpin.’

10. MILK CHOCOLATE CARERRA

Options. Cocoa holders. Park, Reverse and Lick. Exhaust serves marshmallows.

Merry Christmas, people. LOVE TO THE WORLD!

What a ridiculously cool day! All days should be like this, not just Father’s Day. The main highlight was the 2009 Rodeo Drive Concours d’ Elegance. Seriously expensive machines… in the sun.

My son Sean, Kathie and I strolled among multi-millions of dollars worth of machines including Delahaye, Ferrari, Lamborghini, Rolls Royce, Bentley, BMW, Alfa Romeo, Aston Martin, Packard, an Electric Cobra, Smarts, Green Vehicles,  Tesal and even a Bentley Chopper. Yea, all cheapies, of course. Let me just take them all, thank you. Even Sean sat in the Lincoln from the TV show “Entourage.”

But on Rodeo, it’s no holds barred. The streets were packed with onlookers… even in the trees. The major highlight of the show was this DDR (Dumb Diamond Ring) on display. At the sheer cheap stupid price of $744,000.00 I mean, come on… Let’s get real. Put something in the window that’s REALLY expensive you bunch a’ lame o’ cheap basterds.What moron got cold feet and stuck the small stone in the window??? Sheesh!

Imagine. Strolling down Rodeo and you “pop” into a wee lil’ store to pick up something for your honey squeeze. A tiny lil’ rock for just under a mil. I’m sorry, but that’s just plain stupid in a really stupid sort of way. What could YOU do with $744,300.00??? Let us begin with making a list of 744,000 things, yo!

But the cars were smokin’ hot.  SO, here we go folks….