This from my buddy, Steven Johnson…

Buy a $55,000 Mini and GET A FREE BUS! I’m totally serious… kinda!!! Okay, whose bidden? Do I hear $55,001?? Check out the page HERE.

Thanks, Steve-o!

So, there I was, riding my bike down PCH with my squeeze when I spotted this Mini. Well actually, not a Mini, but a MiniMini. I mean teeny.

This dood cut, chopped and sniped. (I’m sure scissors were involved.) And since I’ve never seen a smaller Mini than this, it’s officially “THE SMALLEST MINI EVER.” (Now, don’t go all hog wild and tell me “NO! THERE’S A SMALLER ONE!” Unless, you send me a photo.)

But, for now. It’s Fireball’s Official ‘TeenieMeenie.”

You want to see more? Check out his Facebook page.

Ah, the pain of it all. Sometimes it just weens away in peaceful bliss when cars like some of this week’s BADASS vehicles show up.

Now, since my head is on goin’ to SEMA and getting the skinny on some of the world’s best (and worst), I’m gonna keep my rants to a minimum. … Wait, I mean keep my professional blogging to a minimum… and rant all I want, cuz… I can. And CarDomainRob lets me.

SO! Here’s to Rob. (We’re gonna meet up in Vegas and paint the town some ridiculous color. Then get drunk on cool cars!) Anyway, nuf about Sin City…..

LET’S GET TO THE RIDES, BABY!

1. THE FORD MONDEO CONCEPT

What? A Ford that actually looks sweet? (Not that there aren’t other Ford Sweeties) But, when you see a concept car that’s bitchin,’ then the production version sucks a big green walamzoo, then disappointment sets in and you pull a David Carradine. (Was that bad?) Maybe I should have referenced H.R. Puf N’ Stuff? Anyway, LIKE IT!

2. THE VERITAS RS III

What is this thing? Hell if I know, but I want one and I want to drive it past my mother-in-law’s house about 80 times with the exhaust missing. Know what I’m saying? Crisp lines in a package of warm chocolate steel. And since it’s a Roadster, I get my added bone up on bug protein. (My Doctor’s been telling me that I’m a bit low. Then again, what does he know? He’s got hair growing out his nose like a tumbleweed. Damn Dirty Ape.)

3. THE SPADA

Now, there’s some cool things about this car… done badly. It’s unique for sure, but has some strange choices that deter from it’s potential coolness. So, below (#4) is the SPADA NASTY. My version. It’s what they shoulda done, had they come to it from the NASTY perspective. NASTY being the all purposeful word that represents something that causes a small short bit of pain, this is what I’d recommend they do. I mean, c’mon. You want to sell this car, or just hang it on a Christmas Tree?

4. THE SPADA NASTY

Ok, so maybe not everyone’s cup o’ hot cocoa, but I like it better than the candyass version above it. What do you guys think? I only spent about 5 minutes on this to improve it. Not like it’s a big deal to do it the real mccoy.

Ok. Now for the hardcore stuff….

5. THE CAR

Nuf said.

6. MY JUGGERNAUT

Since I’m heading to Vegas, and IF I were driving a MINI, then I’d be driving this. Just a wee bit of BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA.

7. THE LEXUS LFA

This ride is sweet. And when it comes out, it’s mine. Great lines, great sculpt, great attitude. AND, great potential. Wups, cat’s outta the bag now…

8. THE LEXUS LFA TUNED

Yup. This one’s gonna cause a lot of trouble. I may just have to get in on it. Reminds me of a joke…

“What did one old boob say to the other old boob?

We better get some support soon or they’re gonna think we’re nuts.”

What does that have to do with a tuned LFA? Who cares.

Bye.

Been too busy for the past few months to do a really good show. But come, June 6th and 7th, we’re back! Welcome again to THE HUNTINGTON BEACH CONCOURS d’ ELEGANCE. And since I’m the Grand Marshall, I get to do stuff. Stuff like have celebrity guest builders and designers join me to discuss cool cars for you guys. Plus, check out the flier I did for the fact that Mini is 50.

It’s a weekend of fun, food and cool cars. Come join me!

A tremendous amount of history in this car. But now it needs a new home and a fresh start. Anyone interested in a PROJECT MINI, the Mach 3 is now available on Ebay with more than 20K worth of mods. It does have some hurdles to be overcome, but for a car that was covered in 20 mags and has been on TV and was show car for the past 5 years, it’s a steal. (The new Recaros are worth 5K alone!)

Big show. Big tear down. At about 11pm, I took these shots of the LA Auto Show. Mostly of the MINI Booth. It was impressive how everyone worked together to strike such a huge show. Like gnomes and elves, working in unison to pull everything down and trailer all the cars. We did the same, although our booth was much smaller than the OEMs.The MINI E was cozily eased into a huge truck with the BMW Hydrogen car.

Big thanks and gratitude to the thousands of enthusiasts that visited us this year. My voice is nearly gone, feet red hot and legs like dragging 200lb bags of concrete, but the chance to meet all of you and have fun was worth it. Especially all the hundreds of kids. Like little baby Raptor packs. I must have handed out 5,000 hot wheels, 10,000 posters and thousands of cards.

Big thanks to all our sponsors as well. Biggest and best show of the year with nearly 2 million in attendance. That’s a lot of traffic to appreciate.Have a great holiday, everyone!

Top to Bottom…

World’s Fastest ROLLS?, The weird SCYTHE, Smart Madness, GIRLS!, My Meguiars Magnum, Hangin’ with Mr. George Barris, Challenger Coolness, Charger Coolness, MINI Clubman Ladder, ECTO 1 and the Nissan GTR.

The MINI CLUBMAN. The other MINI. MINI to the 1oth power. MINI with room for more stuff.

Well, before we get into this week’s Dissection, our GIVEAWAY goes like this…

See this lil’ 64th scale TOMY Cooper? Super hard to find and I found this in Switzerland. It’s yours. IF, you can give the Clubman at the top an appropriate NAME. Post your suggestion and the winner will be revealed this Monday. PLUS, they’ll get an extra Fireballed surprise! But, you have to post your comment only at the home blog HERE. This Dissection gets posted in 30 different places!!!

Ok, the CLUBMAN…. Since I’m into to MINIs, you’d think this was a given. So, I should like the CLUBMAN. Well then, you’d be wrong…

I don’t like the CLUBMAN… I adore the CLUBMAN. It’s all the things that MINI is, plus a wee tad more. Actually, a lot more. There were many ways to do this car, but the designers chose to take the road of uniqueness. 5 doors, placed in a unique formation. Two front, one extra on the passenger side, and two suicide style in the rear. When I went to see the boys at MINIUSA at the LA Auto Show, Prez Jim McDowell did a great job at expressing how fun the rear doors were to open. “I could do this all day,” he said.

But all the reasons that MINIS are fun to drive, beautiful to look at, ways to modify and personalize, there’s one one reason to have this car. Because it’s different. And while other cars are suffereing during the gas hike, the MINIS are flourishing.

The tagline for this car should be, “GET ONE, AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.” ‘Cause things do… This is not a commercial, but this is my honest opinion of a successful design enhanced to broaden it’s appeal. Much like a movie, this could have gone wrong in a thousand different ways.

But, as cool as it is, it’s not perfect. It has flaws and many of you who have bought this car agree that there are slightly subtle things that come to mind. But, even with those flaws, they are personal choices. Example: The center cluster is big enough for the people 2 cars behind you to see how fast you’re going. But, none of these issues are quality relate. The car is just solid, like a MINI should be. And with 7 sextillion options to go along with it, it will take you 12 years to put your car together (slight exaggeration).

If you’re weird, different, unique, inspired, funny looking or just plain nuts, then this is the car for you. And if you want to see a whole host of them in one place, then come to the Rose Bowl on August 1-3. MINI TAKES THE STATES will be in LA. And so will EVERY MINI west of Texas. Come by and say “hi.”

Design Enhanced. That’s the new CLUBMAN. Check out the R60 SUV coming, too! AN SUV!!!??? Well yea, duh. You gotta have something to pull your MINI outta the mud at the race track….

I’d call the MINI Design Language “Fun Surfacing.” As in, the elements that make up the components of the car are round, bulbous and funny looking. All adding up to one hellava good time. Just be careful how you park it….

As I stood at the foot of my Police MINI being shot by UK mag MODERNMINI this past week at CinemaVehicles, I began to notice things I hadn’t noticed before. Small details on the car that bugged me. Kev, the photographer snapped away as I began to wonder… What is Perfection?

As with most things, perfection is interpretive. Each of us would describe it differently. But, I guess the important thing to realize is that nothing is ever REALLY perfect. And it’s important to be okay with that. Does perfection mean that you’ve done everything right? Balanced exactly the way you want it? It may be, but in time, things change …and so do we.

I welcome being wrong and making mistakes, even though they may be painful. And some are REALLY painful, but mistakes are how we grow. And growth is good. We learn by taking our experiences and honing them down to what is best extracted.

Don’t get me wrong. My MINI is rock solid bitchin.’ And it will make an awesome article because ModernMINI knows how to do it up right. So, the question becomes, what do I do next that’s better? Where to I go from here? Well, no one knows just yet (And if I did, I wouldn’t tell;-) but one thing’s for sure, whatever it is… it will be perfect. At least… for a little while.

Many would consider me lucky. But luck to me, is a term used to describe something outside of yourself. I believe that things happen the way they do because of our choices and our ability to think right.

Choices are a cause set in motion, which in turn, brings an effect. Look to where things are not working in your life and examine the way that you are thinking about them.

I try, every day, to replace my negative thoughts with positive ones. The more I practice this, the better I get. And the quality of my choices get better, which, brings me better things! So luck? If you know how to work this principle, then your outcome is all that matters. And that, is up to the way you think… and I’m grateful that I can share that with you.

And now, I think I’ll make myself a cool protein drink for the day. Off the Cinema Vehicles for a photo shoot with the STC Car. Stay tuned for a great article coming from ModernMINI Magazine!!